Is this how you envisioned your life? Crawling on your hands and knees, pitying yourself, waiting for some useless asshole to come pick you up and put you back on your feet? There are only two phrases in the entire history of the english language that can sum up the core of who you are-
1.) "How can I be truthful when everything I am's a lie?" ~Jack Off Jill
2.) "I'm ashamed of all my somethings." ~Flyleaf
Why do you say these harsh and cruel things? Because it's true. It's all true. You feel like a joke because you've treated yourself like one, and you've treated yourself like one because you feel like one.... There's only one thing in the world that ties emotions to actions and that's thoughts. Patterns don't disappear overnight. Your struggle is acceptance.... Accepting that you have good qualities and that others possess negative ones. Your love is askewed. Your adoration for others is the polar opposite of your distaste toward yourself. Stop being like your father and figure out how to love who you are, even it means taking some of that love from others. You spread yourself too thin.